I remember Christmas when I was a child... In Hungary we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve and we used to decorate the Christmas on the morning of the 24th of December...
So my Christmas Eve used to look like: getting up in the morning all excited, spending the day playing, then me and my sister had to have a long bath (that's when my parents decorated the Christmas tree and put the presents under it making sure we are not around), then getting dressed up nicely and when we were ready, we walked into the living room, which was completely transformed with the tree and all it's decorations and lights, it was truly magical... We always had a big tree and when we were little it seemed like a beautiful shining giant filling up the room... And as it was always a real tree the smell of it added even more to it's magic...
When we grow up, things are a bit different... We become the people who are responsible for the magic to happen... Quite a big responsibility and even if you enjoy creating the magic it is still a hard work and can be stressful...
But what if you don't feel the magic inside? How can you be the one who create it???
I always found the Christmas lights very comforting and magical, so even when I felt down around Christmas for one reason or another, putting the tree up created the magic for me...
But this year I really struggled... For 2 months I have been in a really bad place for no particular (out of the ordinary) reason (nothing that I haven't been dealing with all year), just this time of the year made me feel it more and just couldn't lift myself out of it... So all I wanted is to be as least exposed to Christmas as possible... No decorations, no presents, no Christmas tree, meeting as few people as possible... just sail through it as it was just an ordinary month... I have never in my life not had a Christmas tree, I had one even when I was all on my own... so me not wanting a tree was a big thing for me...
It's always been a dream for me to have a family of my own and not having that can be really painful, specially around Christmas when it is the season that is all about family... so I thought if I pretend Christmas doesn't happen, it will be less painful...
But then something happened...
The Universe sent me a really clear message saying: "Christmas is not about what we have or don't have, Christmas is about opening our Heart and Mind up to the LOVE and MAGIC Christmas is all about and to all the wonderful and magical things await us"
This has changed everything... I realised that yes, I don't have everything I truly want in my life, things that money can't buy, but there is a MAGIC word here and that is: YET... I don't have it YET...
So instead of avoiding Christmas and hide in the dark because there is something missing, I decided to open my heart up and I let the Magic and the light come in, I opened my mind up to allow all the wonderful things await me to come into my life... I opened myself up for the possibilities and opportunities that lies ahead...
so next day I went to buy a tree, and we decorated it the same day and every time I look at it, it fills me up with warmth, hope and excitement, it makes me feel the true Magic of Christmas...
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